Do Not Push

The bell jingled on the door to Cooper’s Fire World as two young customers walked in: Jack Barnes and his little sister Emma.  They were here to look at fireplaces.  Neither of them would actually be purchasing one, but Jack’s mother had sent the two to get information on one of them for her.

“This is the place,” said Jack.  “Now, I’m not exactly sure which of these is the one Mom wrote down.”  He held up the piece of paper his mom had given them. “I’m going to ask that sales clerk for help.  Remember, I’ll do the talking, and don’t get into any trouble while we’re here.”

Emma nodded.  Let Jack do the talking and stay out of trouble? Piece of cake.

For five minutes, anyway.  The salespeople at Cooper’s Fire World were very knowledgeable about their products, and the salesman Jack had found was busy schooling him on the trade.  By the time he finished his speech, Jack would not only be able to sell the fireplace, but he would also be able to introduce it at conferences around the United States, if he remembered what he had heard and was given the opportunity.

Bored, Emma began wandering around the store.  She went to the front of the building and glanced out the large display window.  She stood in it and waved to a couple people that passed by, but they didn’t notice.  Then, Emma glanced over at the wall.  Right by the window, the wall was bare, except for a button with a large sign over it.

DO NOT PUSH the sign proclaimed.  It was handwritten on a piece of paper, taped over a more permanent sign above the large button.  Emma wondered what the sign underneath said.  She reached up to move the piece of paper.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite tall enough to reach the piece of paper.

But she was tall enough to reach the button.

Bwowww-bwowww-bwowww!  Oh, so that was how you set off the fire alarm!  The signal worked like a charm.  In seconds, prospective customers were running out the door, fleeing for their very lives.  Emma spied the salesman Jack had been talking to run by.  Jack followed, looking wildly around.

“Emma!” he said, spying her.  “Quick, we’ve got to get out of here.  That’s the fire alarm.”

“Uh, Jack?” said Emma.  She smiled up at him.  “I have some good news. There is no fire!”

Jack looked down at Emma.  He recognized that smile.  It always meant trouble.  More specifically, it meant Emma had caused—

“Did you set that alarm off?”

“It was an accident!” said Emma.  “The button didn’t say it would set off the fire alarm!”

Jack looked at the wall.  “Emma, it says do not push!  We’re going to go tell the manager exactly what you did.  Mom and Dad are not going to be happy with you, I guarantee that.  Is there anyone still in this buil—”

Uh-oh.  More trouble.  There was someone still in the building, besides the Barnes’, but he wasn’t an employee.  However, he was rifling through the cash register behind the counter, stuffing his pockets with its contents.  He glanced up, and his eyes met Jack’s.

Instantly, he slammed the (now empty) cash register drawer.  Glaring at the two youngsters through his ski mask, he raised his hand, revealing a gun.

“Don’t move,” he said.

“Why?” asked Emma.

“Shh!” hissed Jack.

“Now, if you two will just stand there,” continued the robber, striding out from behind the counter, “nothing’s going to happen to you two.  I’m going to wander out this door, see, and I don’t want either of you to follow.  You got that?  If you so much as peep out of that door while I’m on the block, I’ll—”

Crash!  The noise distracted the man, and he whirled around, just as—

Whoosh!

A powerful gust of water from a fire hose swept in and knocked the crook off his feet!  He lost the gun; Jack dashed forward and picked it up, ducking to avoid the blast.

“Hah!  We’ve got him,” he said. “I wonder why the firemen broke the window, though?  There’s not really a fire.  You’d think they would have looked more care—oh!”

Never set off a fake fire alarm in a store with natural gas fireplaces on display.